I would contend that one strong characteristic of this region (Wisconsin/Minnesota) is an extremely strong aversion to conflict. This manifests itself in "Minnesota nice" behavior and a general avoidance of conflict. At its wost, this conflict aversion manifests itself in passive-agressive behaviors. In these situations, rather than confront someone with whom they have a conflict, an individual denies and avoids the conflict but then works behind the others back to make them "pay" for the conflict situation. So, for example, a student does not like the way a teacher grades papers in a class. Rather than arranging a meeting with the teacher to share their concerns about the grading process and seek a mutual satisfactory solution, the student talks to other students about the teacher behind the teacher's back and encourages the other students to "slam" the teacher on evaluations at the end of the semester.
I'm not sure what the origins of this behavior pattern are but I can say from experience that it is more prominent here than in other regions of the country where I have worked. Do you feel this is a fair assessment? What implications does this assessment have for organizational life? Is this behavior characteristic of organizations from this area? If this assessment is accurate, what happens when people leave the area and get involved in organizations that have different assumptions?
I'm curious to get your take on this idea. It's one I've thought about a lot since I moved here nine years ago.
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I think you are completely accurate in this assessment. People in this area (often) are uncomfortable with approaching conflict. I just had someone come to me 2 minutes ago to see if I could deal with a situation for them, and I asked why they dont do it themself. And it was the simple reason that they are too 'nice' and cant do it. If you ask me, indirectness - ie, talking to others, mixed messages, faking nice is more mean than just saying what you need to say. Sometimes the truth is hurtful, but at least its truth. I've seen this in organizations too, it often comes out in the form of gossip(which is the same case for many social scenes as well). Instead of confronting the said friend/co-worker/family member...the person resorts to talking to everyone else about it. Its so counterproductive and all it does is spread more hurtfulness. I appreciate who aren't so 'minnesota nice' and just say what they need to say.
I agree with your assessment that people in this area are uncomfortable in approaching conflict. I myself find it very hard to confront people that I have issues with...I guess I'm the "nice" person that mbb724 is talking about. I think I've seen this at a few of the jobs/organizations that I have worked with around the area as well...especially at one of them...where everyone talks about the manager behind her back...instead of discussing with her the issues and concerns that they all have... I know that I was guilty of it...I think everyone was a little intimidated by her though. I think this way of going about confronting the situation is counterproductive as well and it is only going to hurt you more in the end anyways... still that is the way a lot of people choose to deal with it and I'm not sure if it's going to change much anytime soon. The way that everyone deals with the manager at where I used to work isn't helping in any way...it's not helping the employees (they are always complaining and never seem too happy) and it's not helping the manager either (everyone keeps quiting and she has to keep hiring new people). It will most likely be a very different situation for anyone to leave and work outside the area...it would be interesting to see how other areas address conflict.
I also agree that people in this area are uncomfortable when approaching conflict. I do not have a whole lot of experience that I can remember elsewhere, but I do believe that is it true in this area. I find it very frustrating when an individual plays nice when they are really upset about something, but then again, I also think that everyone is a culprit of it at certain times. There is always a time and a place for conflict, and it’s always a good idea to choose your battles wisely. I see this kind of behavior happen all of the time in the organization that I work in. Everyday there is always someone complaining about something that someone else did and how they are so frustrated that no one ever does anything right. Even though I hear this kind of thing everyday, I never hear anyone confronting anyone about the situations that they are upset with. Instead they usually act like nothing is wrong, but talk behind their back instead. It is confusing to watch because I never understand why people will not confront each other. It also makes me nervous because if I was doing something wrong, I don’t think anyone would tell me so I never know if they are talking about me behind my back too. I think that an individual with this kind of behavior were to move to another organization they may be in for a big surprise when no one wants to listen to them talk behind others’ backs or if someone tells them upfront when they have a problem with them. I think in an organization and in all other situations, its usually best if you are just upfront with the situation at hand.
I definitely agree that people in our region avoid conflict and deal with it in passive-agressive ways. This could have a profoundly negative impact in an organizational setting. If situations are not dealt with openly and in a productive and positive manner, the avoidance of conflict and negative responses will only manifest into much worse problems. I've experienced this at work before, where a co-worker has a problem with how the manager is doing something and rather than talking to the manager about it the co-worker talked about the manager behind her back and just festered up more anger about the situation. This, in-turn, caused the co-worker to do a worse job in her tasks to spite the manager. If this kind of thing can have a negative impact on a small company like the one I worked at, imagine it at a large scale. The implications are costly. Also, I think people from this area working in other areas where this behavior is not accepted may be in for a cultural shock and an eye opening when they aren't received well by their co-workers for this behavior.
I think that being able to handle conflict in an organization is very important to an individuals success within the organization. I also agree with the rest of the bloggers that the passive-aggressive approach to handling conflict in this area is a fair assessment of most situations I have been faced with both personally and in different organizations I have been a part of. I wasn't aware that this area was so much different from other areas in the US, when dealing with conflict. It's important to realize that many people that we will deal with in organizations around here will handle conflict this way. Does this mean we should also handle conflict in this way when we get our first jobs? I think that as we adhere to this mode of conflict resolution it will hurt us in our professional careers,even if it is the most prominent way here in Wisconsin and Minnesota. Gossip and trying to get things resolved by talking behind peoples backs is counter-productive. Shouldn't we be spending our time trying to enjoy our jobs and making the organizations better as a whole? Instead of wasting our time talking about the problem with anyone but the person we have a problem with. When people leave this area to pursue jobs in different locations, I think this form of conflict resolution will hurt them. In my personal opinion I feel that it is important to have conflict out in the open, where it can be solved effectively and efficiently, instead of wasting time trying to be "nice" to everyone.
Not only do people in this area avoid conflict, but one thing that really bothers me is how people approach others in Wisconsin. In so many ways I was attracted to this school senior year of high school because I felt everyone was so friendly and open. When I came to school I did find friends, but I feel as though people not only just in college but in the community stick to their cliques. In this area people put on happy smiles and act like they want to get to know you, but when it comes down to it they would rather separate into their own little pod. You can see this in every class too. There are groups of people that just stick together and don't get me wrong I'm guilty of it too, but it is frustrating. There seems to always be a lot of talk, but no action. No one has the guts to talk unless forced.
This is an accurate assesement. I seen numerous times people complaining about teachers and how they grade. Barely anyone approaches the teacher and says anything however. I have noticed that approaching and talking to my communications teachers is much easier than communicating to my business professors. I actually talked to one of my business professors about a grade I recieved in a class that he had got wrong. The only response i recieved was along the lines of "I am right you are wrong." There is a childish attitude when it comes to matters of conflict that goes both ways from what I have experienced. I hope that people do not think that how it is here in Wisconsin is how things are run everywhere.
Honestly, I haven't really interacted with many people from other regions in the United States, but if we're following stereotypes, sure, this one is probably pretty accurate. But I think that there are other places that I'd consider more "Minnesota nice" than here (if that makes any sense). I used to go to Tennessee every summer when I was younger, and everyone I'd meet was so polite and friendly. I've never had a conflict with any of them, so don't really know their conflict style, but from their manners, I would guess it would be similar to "Minnesota nice".
Looking more into this idea, I don't know if it's fair to say that students are more inclined to talk behind a teacher's back here (in the midwest) more than any place else... I just think it's more of a respect/intimidation/age thing. I have also had plenty of experiences at work where people have just outright FLIPPED OUT at me, to no fault of my own. They probably went and talked bad about the business as well, but they definitely let me know what they were thinking. I mean, it's probably not as bad or as frequent as it would be if I were in a place like New York, but the nature of my place of work (it's like consignment.. so people often get mad when we don't give them as much money for something as they'd like)but I really don't see "Minnesota nice" that often. People are either thrilled or miffed about what they're getting.
I guess i never really noticed it that way. Ive lived in wisconsin my whole life, but i have never been one to shy away from conflict. Yet when i look at the situation you are talking about, i definately see the opposite gender do a lot of what you are talking about. I feel that girls have a far harder time dealing with conflict because the consequences of a fight last so much longer than they do with males. Grudges and broken friendships are often a result of a simple conflict that in my experience males would get over in a matter of hours. Yet if it is a regional thing, like i said before i may be unaware of that. Good observation on your part though Rodrick.
After just posting under the cultural metaphor blog, I think it is interesting to hear all the feedback to Rodrick's original blog. Ever wonder why there may be a "minnesota nice" way of dealing with conflict? Think about culture. The midwest is known for being friendly and warm and helping out a neighbor. People were/are born and raised here learning that you must respect others. There are tensions between conflict and disagreement in communication. People don't know how to disagree or communicate their point of view because they are afraid to disrespect someone to their face--it's taboo! However, if they can get their message across and not have the message traced back to them, they see that as a better method--perhaps?? I like to just spell it out and use constructive criticism. I believe there are ways to disagree without being disrespectful even though I was raised to always be respectful to everyone. But it is an inner conflict I think people deal with. I like the "minnesota nice." Go somewhere with a "it's my way or no way nice" and you'll see there is room for compromise here.
I think that this assessment is definitely true in this area. In fact, my results of the conflict styles survey sheet we filled out today told me that my conflict style is "withdrawing" and "soothing" I think this might go back to the way I was raised to be a people pleaser and avoid conflict at all costs. I have always been like this when it comes to family, friends, and even work. I would rather avoid any kind of conflict and please who I am working with than have any sort of issue even if I have to work harder, longer, do things I don't want to do, etc... The only win-win situation on the sheet was the problem-solving style which encourages the exchange of information even if that information might be hard for the other person to hear, but still tyring to come up with the best solution for everyone. You never know who has what type of conflict style so I think finding a balance between being assertive and being polite and smooth is important.
I am not familiar enough with the organizations in the area to know if this aversion to conflict effects the day-to-day operations of business but it is an interesting concept. Anyone who has lived in this area for a significant period of time cannot deny the fact that people avoid conflict like the plague. I think for the most part that people do not want to appear mean or disagreeable and this is why they try to avoid conflict. They feel that by talking about their unhappiness with a person/situation/etc to others that their feelings will (and they usually do) make their way to the person with whom they are unhappy with. It is rather sixth grade-ish but for the most part they think they are being pretty harmless. This method, I feel, is a lot more harmful than being honest and telling the simple truth. Conflict can be painful sometimes but no more so than talking behind others' backs. I think that if people from this area were to relocate and find jobs in new corporations that conflict could be a problem. They would either be run all over or make enemies everywhere they went. I can see where people do not always want to face the problem, I don't always either, but I definitely wouldn't call myself "Minnesota nice."
I was probably more shocked than I should have been this summer working in New York at how they handled conflicts versus what I know of us good ol’ Midwesterners. I worked at a public relations firm and one instance I vividly remember was hearing the CEO of our company literally screaming profanity on the phone for about 5 minutes, then she slammed the phone down and ran out of the office. Later I found out that one of the magazines that had promised one of our clients a cover story just pulled and they replaced it. Her solution to that conflict was to scream obscenities and we were instructed to take all members of the press from that magazine off of our screening lists and they were not allowed to contact any of our clients. I am convinced that if this situation would have happened in the Midwest we would have given it the old “well, better luck getting that cover next time.” Us Midwesterners are just a little more ‘nice’ than the rest, I wouldn’t have even thought of reacting that way on the phone, I would have probably shoved that phone call off and then went behind their back not letting them deal with our clients, not screamed that to them on the phone.
As far as the student-teacher situations go, I can agree that about 60% of the time I will just brush it off or sit and complain with other students. I think if it is a professor I’ve had before or are comfortable with I will feel more confident saying something directly to him or her.
I think that the original post makes some great points that are completely true in many circumstances. Like a few people mentioned in response, I have not spent any significant amount of time in any other region, so I never considered the way that we handled conflict was different from that of other areas. However, it made me really stop and think about how we do it here and try to compare that to stories I have heard or other things I have seen. For example, I was thinking about a family friend that is very confrontational and will simply tell everyone what she thinks when she thinks it. Now, I know that there are, ineveitably, people who are also like this that were born and raised in this area. However, I can't help but wonder if her attitude towards conflict had anything to do with the fact that she grew up in Canada. Maybe this had an effect on the ways that she views conflict and conflict resolution.
Another example or situation which I thought applied well to the concept from the post is something that I have noticed a lot lately at my work. Like many other people have alreasy shared, there are many people at my work who choose not to confront others that they have some sort of problem with, and then complain about it later to someone else. Our store is currently going through the remodeling process which means that our normally uptight store manager is even more on edge and irritable than usual. This translates to more barking orders and uncomfortable moments for the rest of the staff. In particular, one of my co-workers has been taking the things that our stressed-out boss has been doing and saying personally, and is upset very often lately. She hasn't said anything to the boss, most likely because she knows that a conflict with her would be incomfortable and awkward, and instead she just complains about what is happening to the rest of us when the boss is no longer around. I think that both of these examples are great ways to use the idea of "Minnesota Nice" in a real-world application.
I also agree in this assessment. I dislike conflict a great deal, and I often find myself doing things to avoid it in any way possible. Similar to what Molly said above, I think I am the way I am because of how I was raised, to be a people pleaser. Whether this is unique to this region or not, I'm not sure- but I have seen a difference in doing business with people from other areas of the country. In working at a hotel, I deal with people from across the U.S. on a regular basis. I'm not sure if it's coincidence, or due to other circumstances, but it seems like people from other areas have no probelm complaining or arguing about problems with their stay at the hotel. There have been many times I have been forced to deal with this sort of conflict at work and it often seems to come from guests not from this area.
I think learning to effectively deal with conflict within organziations - employee:employee or employee:customer - is extremely important to ensure success.
This might sound WAY off course but I think it's in most people's nature to shy away from conflict......does that mean that they are NOT Minnesota nice? Or Wisconsin nice? Or Nice in general?
No.......the fact that you stated in class that it is generally assumed that CONFLICT is or can be viewed as a negative/bad thing plays the larger factor here....conflict is reality...it is unavoidable...it is necessary.
O.k. I am back again....I didn't get to post last week cause I could log in and blah blah blah...
I was thinkn' about the part of your post where the person avoiding conflict "makes that person pay" for the situation.
I officiate tons of basketball games....and there is a bit of "payback" involved......During bball games conflict is ABOUND...and there is only so much an official can do to combat it....however....the shit talking begins to anyone who will listen once the game is over and done.....hence the payback portion of the program..........
I agree 100% that this is the mentality of the region. We're so passive-aggressive sometimes that it blows my mind. I know personally I am horrible at it. In an organizational setting this could cause any number of problems. In my time working for menards there were many instances of employee/manager issues that were never addressed properly and began to cause drama for the entire department. One item in particular was when an employee hated a manager, and let it be known to everyone BUT the manager. The manager eventually found out, did not bring up the issue with the employee, and just held a grudge against that person for the rest of my time with the company. I've also fought over a grade with a professor to the point of it going to a review board. The outcome was decided in my favor because I was able to produce the email I had sent to the professor stating my disagreement, and his response of "I do not care anymore, I'm retired, too bad." Overall though I feel that if we were to change our geography and move to another area of the U.S., we would need to change the way we act, otherwise we will be a hindrance to the organization because of our failure to address disputes quickly and efficiently.
This assessment of the Minnesota/Wisconsin culture is valid. I have a lot of friends from other regions of the country and I really value their ability to be straight-forward individuals. There is a lot more integrity in these individuals because they are not as concerned about their image. This is probably very helpful in an organizational setting because there would not be secrets and rumors impacting the message being communicated. I think many problems are created in this region because there are small problems that never get solved and then snowball into a backstabbing gossip fest. It might be helpful for midwesterners to receive more training in conflict resolution and come to a realization that conflict is a normal part of the communication process.
I have to agree with all others also in the fact that we do seem to avoid conflict more than others in the U.S. I'm not sure what we can blame this on but I'm definitely a great example. I avoid confrontation and also conflict on a daily basis...and I'm an expert at it! I guess the reason I choose to is because in the end I don't find it to be worthwhile. If I know that a situation can't be resolved or even improved I usually move past it. I realize this is an unhealthy behavior but I think it also has to do with my easygoing, laid back attitude.
I think you are totally right. People don't like to approach a person with issues unless they really have to. I know I have talked about teachers behind their backs just to avoid confronting the problem. This can be a serious problem in the work place because this leads to back stabbing and stressed relationships between co-workers. It also leads to a lot of gossip, which may be fun for the people who are talking, but it may hurt the person who they are talking about. I would say that it is better to be up front with people rather than trying to be nice up front and slamming the person behind their back.
I agree that people from this region avoid conflict at all costs. I really think that behaving this way in the organization is bad because it means people are not communicating openly. Plus it can create strained relationships. From my work experience, this is an accurate description of how people handle conflict in the workplace. I know at my job now when employees have problems with the manager, they just talk about it with all their coworkers instead of the manager. I think people from this region that act like this will have major problems moving to an organization in a different part of the country.
Just this morning I convinced my sister not to leave an angry 2-page note for her roommate, whom she's constantly picking up after. Instead of talking to the roommate, my sister spent the extra time typing up a seething, emotion-packed letter. She was so angry I dared not suggest she talk to her roommate. However, I was able to convince her to retrieve the letter before her roommate saw it, and rewrite it when she was less angry.
I think this has a huge impact on organizations. In one of my jobs, I often found that a note would be left around whenever I did something wrong. However, the note wouldn't be addressed to me (even though I knew it was concerning me). It would be addressed to "all staff."
I have to admit that it wasn't until this semester that I became more comfortable with conflict. Conflict isn't a bad thing. I think conflict has to be present for an organization to be healthy. Conflict can be harbinger of positive change!
I agree with what Dr. Rodrick is saying how people of the Midwest save face and rarely confront people with concerns. It is not rare to hear someone complain about what a person says or does, and then find out that that person does nothing about it. I agree with mbb724 when they say it is counterproductive. It wastes more time and energy than needed and often causes more problems.
As a student, I can identify with others who find it difficult or pointless to appraoch professors. Not so much in Comm classes, but my business classes, professors are cocky, stand-offish and literally say "do not ask me questions, ask your classmates." I feel that I have a right to pick my professor's brain, I am paying for this professors time and knowledge. In regards to students not approaching professors and instead 'talking behind their back,' I often do not discuss concerns with a professor because I want to save my grade. I have had MANY experiences with professors who dislike me for unknown reasons, and I find difficult to talk to them out of fear for what effect it will have on my future grades. Sophmore year, I had an English professor who targeted me infront of the class and verbally attacked my character and outlook on life. From that point on, I rarely approach professors with concerns I have towards class, grades or questions. I believe there are many students who feel the same way and its a shame...
I agree with your observation that people around here are very passive aggressive. I've only seen the exact example of avoiding a teacher and then slamming them on the evals happen once but it sounds like something that could happen more frequently. I most frequently see this type of behavior happen in my and my peers friendships and social groups. It takes form in the trash talking behind people's backs instead of engaging in a conflict.
I think the example of the student evals is more of a product of the students feeling a lack of power in the situation rather than the maintenance of the relationship as we discussed in class. If a student has a problem with a professor that is so important that it would require a conflict then the student feels like addressing the problem will have an impact of their grade. In the long run, most students are more concerned with leaving the university with a high GPA than remedying a problem with a professor.
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